About Raj
Raj Lulla is an Indian American author, podcaster, and brand strategist from Omaha, NE, where he lives with his wife, Lindsey, and three children.
He spent the first ten years of his career working in non-profit before becoming a brand strategist and co-owner of Fruitful Design & Strategy. As a brand strategist, Raj is one of about 40 creative agency leaders in the world certified in the StoryBrand framework.
Why The Caring House?
When I heard about a grief support center for children on This American Life, I couldn’t stop thinking about it.
Some thoughts I shared over on the blog . . .
My wife Lindsey and I were well acquainted with grief.
In the first year of our marriage, Lindsey lost her younger sister. It was sudden, shocking, and tragic. She left behind a two-year-old son with a puff of jet black hair and a heart-melting smile.
Most of our friends had never lost someone unexpectedly (if at all).
When we returned home from the funeral, our friends thought, as many people do, that bringing up the loss would make Lindsey more sad. So they stayed quiet.
Lindsey told them: “You don’t understand. Bringing up her death isn’t going to make me suddenly start thinking about her. I’m always thinking about her. Bringing her up shows me that you care and that you remember.”
As we went through the darkest days following her sister’s death, I would occasionally hear the phrase “metabolize your grief” as a way to describe the process of returning to “normal” life following a major loss.
“Metabolize” always stood out to me as a curious word to use. When you metabolize your food, it becomes a part of you. It becomes your muscles, your energy, your bones. The parts of your food you don’t metabolize become waste and are expelled.
To use the word “metabolize” regarding grief means that successfully grieving someone you love means to make them and their death a part of you.
Grief isn’t wasted. It shouldn’t just pass through or by you. It nourishes the soul. It’s the process of carrying ancestors, loved ones, family, and friends with you, inside of you, indistinguishable from yourself.
Their memories, traditions, and personality are added to your own as you grieve. You cook their recipes, tell their stories, and pass down their wisdom.
Jamie Anderson wrote,
“Grief, I’ve learned, is really just love. It’s all the love you want to give, but cannot. All that unspent love gathers up in the corners of your eyes, the lump in your throat, and in that hollow part of your chest. Grief is just love with no place to go.”
So why write about grief?
Grief isn’t a sad or depressing topic. It’s a universal expression of love - one that deserves to be written about.